“This is still a young era where humans can skip across hemispheres like jumping rope.” – Old Sean
A Last Eastern Flight
My time in the far East of the world is nearly at an end. But before I leave this part of the world, I’ve been invited south for my first visit to Australia.
With this lovely trip I’ve finally entered an entirely new hemisphere.
This is especially nice, since I’m on the opposite side of the planet from my dedicated following of student debt collectors.
Granted, my initial trip south wasn’t smooth. I faced a large series of delays, flight changes and in-flight headwinds. Chinese airlines tend to have a fair number of delays worked into daily expectations.
Heading Down Under
I flew into Melbourne after a connecting flight in Shenzhen. I was heading to Australia primarily to visit a friend from high school named El. She was kind enough to let me lounge on her sofa while announcing my uncomfortable levels of admiration for raw cookie dough.
Cookie dough is amazing, both in terms of flavor and shame-food.
Thank you, El. On multiple accounts.
I was only in Melbourne for a few days, but I did my best to ensure they counted.
Early Meanderings
On the first day, I managed to explore downtown, experience Little Italy and Melbourne’s China Town Street. I used my free time to seek out dogs in parks and watching the new Avengers Infinity War movie.
I enjoyed Avengers Infinity War (which was not available in China around this time) but after a while, the movie is a bit like Shakespearean Literature. At some point, there’s nothing more anyone can already say about a subject that has been so completely covered.
Not that it wasn’t an enormous amount of fun (I had the traditional popcorn and a whole bottle of white wine during the film). I simply don’t know what else to add to the developing public opinion.
Speaking of wine, China doesn’t really have a very accessible wine scene. As such, I went a little overboard in Australia. With El’s help, I managed to polish off six bottles alongside quite a few coffees, some doughnuts, a burger and a large quesadilla.
I’m going to have trouble fitting on my next flight.
Secondary Meanderings
I managed to get a lot of exercise during my second day in Melbourne.
Melbourne has an excellent, fairly intuitive tram system cycling throughout the city, allowing for foot traffic access. I basically walked for a half dozen miles every day, leaving further footprints in foreign nations.
I managed to stride along the beach to visit a penguin-colony. Afterwards, I also visited a series of outland park areas to check out small bands of wallabies hopping about. Later, I viewed several downtown shopping centers, including the famous Block Arcade. In the same miniture hike, I also watched a painfully slow bell-clock perform a slow series of chimes and clockwork figure actions.
There were also trips along the Yarra River, where I visited the artfully constructed war memorial the Shrine of Remembrance. Afterwards, I visited Melbourne’s stunning Royal Botanical Garden, of which the Fern Gully was my favorite aspect.
When El was finished with her classes, I toured several university campuses for doughnuts and coffee and light chatter. (I haven’t locked down the Australian accent and they sound so much cooler than me).
My down time was primarily spent around Melbourne University in the northern portions of town. University Avenue nearby supplied the majority of my meals and oddly necessary Windex for household chores.
A Third Episode of Meandering
My last day in Melbourne was spent mostly just letting El show me around the city. She was a phenomenal host.
My favorite part of our tour was the Jail Tour (or, old spelling “gaol tour”). Here, I learned about Australia’s most infamous and consistently controversial outlaw, Ned Kelly.
Ned Kelly operated as a successful bush bandit in the outback against numerous lawmen in a trademark suit of plate armor. His story and the tales of other outback criminals have a flavor roughly akin to wild-west gunslingers from US Westerns.
I also got to undergo the “thrown into jail” tourist portion. This tourism experience demonstrates the pre-imprisoning steps. Guests are required to open their mouths with their tongues up, face the wall, spread their legs out, hold their shoes up, splay their fingers openly, keep palms at eye level, go through a mock scalp-check and, finally, take a few cell phone selfies. Afterwards, guests are directed into a pitch black room with a half dozen men.
That part was nostalgic. I refuse to elaborate more.
A Final Few Beijing Days
Anyway, aside from binge watching Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency and enjoying an occasional (though brief) rainstorm, that sums up the trip. I
’m currently on a darkened plane flying to Shenzhen, which will connect me to my final week of Beijing.
I have one last round of farewells, a mild number of classes to complete, bills to finalize and a single backpack to live out of.
My new job, which involves developing Chinese travel brochures, will send me to Poland in the very near future.
So until then,
Best regards and excellent trails,
Old Sean
Written May 14th, 2018
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