“I’ve traveled long and far. I’ve made footprints across the Earth and strived to a positive influence everywhere I go. But no story about my life would be complete without acknowledging a simple fact: I’m mostly motivated by chocolate.” -Old Sean
Back to Deutschland
After a brutally quick trip through Denmark, I’ve returned to Germany, visiting Cologne in the west.
I initially took a bus from Copenhagen, which boarded a ferry, which finally took me to Cologne. The entire journey took about fifteen hours and a vehicle change. I stayed asleep practically the entire ride, only briefly rising for food.
When I finally began visiting Cologne, I was bleary, groggy and well-rested with a pillow imprint smooshed onto my cheek. There were dark clouds murmuring in the sky, causing the city lights to begin flickering on early.
A Gothic Arrival
The first thing a person sees when visiting Cologne is the Cologne Cathedral.
Roosting off the bend of the Rhine, this massive symbol of Catholicism and Gothic architecture dominates most of Cologne, visible from virtually every part of the city. The structure is fabulously intricate and laden with hundreds, if not thousands, of realistic statues depicting various religious icons. The Cathedral also has a staircase leading down to the Rhine riverfront leading to an open air beer garden and café.
Though I didn’t know it from afar, the Cathedral is absolutely crammed at all times with hordes of tourists. Often, there are also Nigerian acrobats earning cash from tourists in the Cathedral’s plaza area.
The evening I started visiting Cologne, I wandered into a small shop for a sausage-dinner and unpacked at my hostel. I would be staying in the city for a few relatively-peaceful days.
A Morning on the Rhine
After I woke up, I had a meeting call with my supervisor in China. I next went to Rhine Garden (Rheingarten) to finish another interview. Afterwards, I formally visited the Cologne Cathedral and surrounding area.
The old town riverfront neighborhood, named Martins-Viertel, was a soothing place to walk around. Narrow streets dart at odd angles past various architectural masterworks. I passed Great St. Martin Church (Groß St. Martin), the Old Market Plaza (Alter Markt), a lot of breweries, many tiny museums and the water-and-concrete hopscotch playground Wasserspielplatz in der Altstadt.
The entire time, I continually darted back towards Rhine Garden(Rheingarten) to see the riverside houses.
The most interesting thing I found in the area was a fountain I nearly overlooked. The Heinzelmännchenbrunnen Fountain shows a woman with a lantern on an arched staircase with gnomes on either side. It’s based on a local fairy tale.
Heinzelmännchenbrunnen the Fairy Tale
The Heinzelmännchen are mythical creatures native to Cologne. They’re roughly similar to elves and gnomes.
Once upon a time, the citizens of Cologne were hard at work. They would handle the laundry, shoe the horses, cook the food, clean the pens, fish the rivers and craft fine goods. Though the work was never finished, people stayed upbeat and busy. Every waking hour was spent working hard and the city soon grew prosperous.
As the city’s wealth improved, many citizens who respected the Old Ways used a sliver of their excess wealth to be good neighbors. The Heinzelmännchen lived nearby, tiny people in snug homes and hills across the land. The people of Cologne, in respect, left out small bowls of dinner. Each night, The Heinzelmännchen would sneak in close and enjoy their gifts.
Now, The Heinzelmännchen were a prosperous, industrious people. They worked tirelessly to improve themselves, their magics and their craft. After many years of being fed by respectful citizens, The Heinzelmännchen began aiding Cologne with their various tasks.
Anytime some work was left unfinished or set aside for tomorrow, The Heinzelmännchen would slip in at night, enjoy their dinner offerings and finish the job.
Before long, the citizens of Cologne realized they didn’t have to work at all. Clothes were mended and smelled fresh as spring. Horses danced on the lightest of metal shoes. Bakeries were stacked high with bread and pastries each night. The livestock was tended, heaps of fish were brought in and nets were woven snug as houses.
Soon, the citizens of Cologne became very lazy, perfectly happy to let the goodwill of The Heinzelmännchen flow to them.
One citizen, however, was not appeased. The Tailor’s Wife, the Seamstress, was a naturally nosey woman. she was flabbergasted by the fine stitches done each night and the gorgeous clothes which appeared in her shop.
The Seamstress gathered a bag of uncooked peas and decided to hide in her shop that night. When night fell and The Heinzelmännchen returned to work, the Seamstress scattered the peas across the ground.
The Heinzelmännchen shouted, slipped and fell. All of the little figures scrabbled on the floor. The Heinzelmännchen sprung back to their feet, spotting the Seamstress. Infuriated and insulted, The Heinzelmännchen shouted furiously at the Seamstress, who could only stand in shock.
Then, The Heinzelmännchen marched back outside and through the city. Red-faced, they shouted about a lack of respect. Soon, every Heinzelmännchen in Cologne had vanished, never to return.
The following morning, the citizens of Cologne woke up to see all their unfinished work was still entirely unfinished. The lazy citizens had to bustle to complete their daily tasks. From that day on, the people of Cologne had to do all their work by themselves.
As far as German fairy tales go, this one is incredibly quaint. I enjoyed learning it.
A Chocolate Reason
My absolute favorite place while visiting Cologne, however, is the Imhoff-Schokoladenmuseum (the Chocolate Museum).
It was here I lost any hope of exploring beyond the city center. I spent the rest of my day indulging in chocolate.
This museum depicts the history, creation and factory process of making chocolate.
The interactive musuem keeps its visitors well-fed. Patrons are granted several piece of chocolate upon arrival along with their initial ticket. During the museum tour, visitors can make two more delicious creations using molds and golden chocolate-fountains. And finally, guests receive four more wrapped chocolates upon leaving, with the option of buying more at the museum’s chocolate café.
And that is how to properly run a museum.
Day Two in Cologne
The following day, I visited other interesting sites of acclaim.
First, I went to a famous Basilica to the north. The Basilica of St. Ursula supposedly hosts the bones of 11,000 slain virgins associated with St. Ursula’s legendary death by the Huns. It’s an extremely horrific bit of historical-mythology.
Within the Basilica, there’s an entire wall (The Golden Room/Chamber) covered in decorated human-calcium-nuggets. There are perhaps 1100 or so, although a tour guide told me a number a bit higher than that. Despite the impressive display, there aren’t nearly enough to accommodate the 11,000 dead virgins from the legend.
Later that same day, I went for a dip at Blackfoot Beach north of the city. The vast park space was relaxing and views of downtown Cologne and it’s distinct cathedral were ever-visable. I spent time wandering into various green spaces and rode the tiny locomotive at Rheinpark.
For the rest of my day, I crossed the Cologne’s Love Locks Bridge, (Hohenzollernbruecke Bridge) which is an impressive homage to human romance. Thousands of padlocks are clipped onto the bridge to symbolize the love couples have for one another. Traditionally, the lock’s key is dropped into the Rhine below right afterwards. I think I’ve read that the locks need to be removed on occasion, or they over-burden the bridge, potentially causing structural damage down the line.
Finally, I rested for the rest of the evening in Cologne’s Old Town, where I sampled plenty of snacks and wandered the narrow cobbled alleys.
Last Thoughts in Germany
One of the bizarre things to constantly realize about Germany is the infrastructure. It’s all basically new, less than eighty years old at the time of this writing. Despite the traditional appearances, roads designed for foot traffic and historic hallmarks, nearly every brick had to be uncovered from rubble or replaced entirely after World War II.
In any event, I finally returned to the city center, where I drank… something. It tasted a bit like sweetened apple cider vinegar?
Regardless, my train to Amsterdam leaves soon, at which point I’ll be revisiting one of the most tourism-infused cities in all of Europe.
Best regards and excellent trails,
Old Sean
Written June 10th, 2018
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