“If Willy Wonka taught us one thing, it’s to ensure your props are edible whenever possible.” – Old Sean
TV Tours
Credit to Krone for this post’s title, as our time in Albuquerque was heavily influenced by Walter White’s antihero storyline from the television series Breaking Bad.
For those unaware, Breaking Bad is an extremely popular drama where a innocuous chemistry teacher, Walter White is diagnosed with cancer. To secure enough money to support his family, he teams up with a failed student of his, Jessie Pinkman and uses his expertise to cook extremely potent meth (which was eventually turned blue due to new techniques) as a street drug.
The show was shot in Albuquerque and has since become a point of pride and a cultural icon in the city. Breaking Bad murals decorate walls, quotes are posted around the city, shops sell Breaking Bad merchandise and actual film locations, such as Walter White’s house are often subject to odd fan interactions, such as throwing pizza on the roof (which nobody should do, there are people living there again).
Hence the post’s title.
Arriving in Albuquerque
We rolled into Albuquerque late at night, meeting up with Evan’s extremely hospitable brother, Chris. He quickly got us acquainted with the house and introduced us to our various sleeping quarters.
However, Chris’ house is a night-owl house, so we were up for a long bit chatting, getting acquainted and meeting Chris’ girlfriend and her absolutely stupendous black-and-white cat, Appa (like the flying bison from Avatar the Last Airbender).
When we finally did doze off, our next morning was a slow, slow start. We had been moving almost nonstop for a week now, slaves to hotel check-out times, camp pack-up times or the incoming weather. So Albuquerque was an extremely welcome chance to muster up some energy for later use.
Since our day began at lunchtime, Chris recommended a place for breakfast known as the Frontier Restaurant, which was the best food I’ve had in a long, long while.
Their sweet rolls (cinnamon rolls) are worth fighting an alligator for, and the apple cider they serve is the best drink I’ve tasted in America this entire visit. The restaurant is brightly decorated with murals, painting, native artwork, John Wayne paintings and very interesting light fixtures. It’s a vibrant, busy and delicious place I can’t recommend highly enough.
Around and Around Town
After wrapping up at the Frontier, Chris led us around the corner to get a glance at a very cute mural of Walter White and Jessie Pinkman standing in front of their infamous meth RV as round-eyed cartoon characters. Albuquerque has a really vibrant art culture.
From here we were directed to Old Town Albuquerque, where that very same culture really shines.
Native, Mexican and other cultures truly show off their crafts here. First, we checked out various small shops around the central plaza area.
Krone was extremely interested in the hyper-colorful animal sculptures created by the Alebrijes (ah-leh-bree-hess). Handmade from copal wood, these sustainable artworks hail from Oaxaca and are given a large amount of stylistic jurisdiction to individual artists. They are bright, vibrant and very unique.
I poked around numerous rug shops looking for an appropriate tapestry for a friend back home, but didn’t find anything that would mesh with her style. Evan grabbed a few drinks from Raven Blues Coffeehouse Café (which doubles as a gallery) passing a vanilla frozen yogurt root beer float to me. We visited a couple of other galleries as well, including places with odd, vibrant twisting designs on slightly glowing silver bases and specially made pottery that included special black lightening lines, placed on by laying strands of horse hair on cherry-red surfaces to leave a carbon imprint.
We also were introduced to Native American wedding gourds or wedding vases, which are ceremonial containers used in matrimony ceremonies throughout indigenous American cultures.
We also managed to spot a local legend. “The Walking Man” wandered past us wearing naught but a pair of jean shorts. This man is famous for wandering around the US and never, not once, taking a ride on any sort of vehicle. Tanned beyond all measure, thin with ropey calves, we watched him walk by pulling a small cart behind him, while Chris whispered in hushed and awed tones the man’s origins.
The Meth Lab
But it was Chris who brought us to the real prize. Firstly, I should mention that the TV series Breaking Bad famously has blue meth as a major prop in the show. Since it’s a little hard to film with meth on set in general, the cast used blue rock candy instead, which came from the traditional candy store “The Candy Lady” in Old Town.
This shop has what every candy shop needs, such as chocolate, fudge, desert popcorn, sex-shaped candies, old-fashioned sweets and small pastries. But The Candy Lady takes it one grand step forward by also providing some of the same blue “meth” from the TV show, allowing people to pose in Walter White’s hat and sunglasses on the trey.
We call that a magical experience in my country.
Ridgeline Hike
Properly stuffed and in a slight stupor due to candy, we once again piled into our proud, little Honda Equinox and drove slowly up to Cibola National Forest, after briefly passing by Chris and Evan’s grandparent’s old home out on the outskirts of town.
Once in Cibola, Chris took us along his favorite ski route, which included an expansive look over all of Albuquerque. Sheer cliffs of grey stone braced against stiff winds and a distant cable car chugged slowly up the mountains. This one, final hike was defined by steep slopes, small stone shelters and sudden deep patches of snow where all else was clear. It was a worthy finishing outdoor adventure for our extended trip.
At this point, we went back to Chris’ house, where the group set up a few virtual reality video games while I wrapped up our last errands in town. I grabbed oil for our rugged little vehicle (Chris had already refilled our oil, and I was simply replacing it) and enough gas to get us part of the way home.
Finally, the car was cleaned out, repacked and, after a brief visit to Whataburger where I wildly mispronounced “Fajita” it was time to drive home.
Return Route
We only had one feature left to bring the trip full-circle. Somewhere on Route 66, leaving Albuquerque, there is a patch of road that plays “America the Beautiful” when a person drives along it at 45 miles per hour.
The grooves in the road make the sound. I assumed the grooves would be on the side of the road, but they’re actually closer to the car’s natural route in the center of the road. We managed to get a few notes of the song, but ultimately, in the dark, it was hard to keep the course and speed consistent.
Still, the design is a neat highway feature.
I managed to get our crew to Amarillo, where Evan took the wheel and got us home safely while I slept. Back in Dallas, Krone and I let Evan sleep while we finished up the last few errands for our journey.
A Day of Cleanup
Our worthy Equinox was hosed down and the mud and dirt scrubbed free. A quick trip to a car vacuum place pulled out all the accumulated dirt from our many hikes. Finally, we filled up our rental car one last time and drove her to the drop-off point.
Farewell, Equinox. You performed grandly.
For a final goodbye, Krone drove me and my gear home to Garland, where we had a final meal at Desta Ethiopian Restaurant (Krone hadn’t tried Ethiopian food yet).
And so it ends. One more journey complete, with a brief downtime to garner my wits.
The next journey is soon, of course. A week and a half, actually.
So until then,
Best regards and excellent trails,
Old Sean
Written April 26th 2021
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The GoPro Hero Black is my go to Action camera. I’m not comfortable bringing my cell phone to many wet and rugged locations, so the GoPro does most of my photographic heavy-lifting. The only things I bring in my GoPro kit are the camera, a spare battery and the forehead mount. I upgrade my GoPro once every two years. It was particularly excellent to have during my aquatic tour of Belize.
