Visiting Ambergris: A Shore to Forget Tides

“Pity all those who let their guard down around the wind on open ground and water, for she is a fanatic of the utmost intensity.” – Old Sean

Ferry Journey

I’ve now left Belize City and jettisoned off the mainland into the shallow seas towards Ambergris Caye via a quick-lunging ferry with my two travel companions, Mel and Tim from Texas. 

The ride to Ambergris was a joy all on it’s own.  The wind swelled impressively and the deep heat nestling around Belize City was banished as our ferry picked up speed.  Mel and I wrapped headbands around our temples to keep hair from spearing us in the eyes. 

It made me look like a 90’s workout video, but it made Mel look like a high-seas pirate captain with a penchant for fruity cocktails.  I add that last part because that’s exactly what she brought aboard as we reenacted “I’m King of the World” from the upper deck with both Tim and myself. 

As clouds swelled on the horizon, a slight drizzle pattered down and the vast majority of our fellow passengers fled below-deck, effectively giving my small group a free rein on the deck above.  Which we abused by taking off our COVID masks and shouting bad jokes to one another just above the threshold of the wind. 

Arrival in San Pedro

When we finally arrived in San Pedro, I opted to walk for half an hour to our hotel.  There were dozens of Golf Cart rental places, which is the primary method for getting around San Pedro, but I preferred to wait until we had WIFI before selecting a cart. 

San Pedro is a very nice little town.  Buildings are much more solidly built than those on the mainland, opting for cement foundations rather than raised stilts.  Docks petered off from the shoreline and warp downwards into uncommonly calm water.  In the distance, there’s a constant white string breaking and reforming where the Mesoamerican Reef prevents tides from striking the shores too strongly. 

The buildings are all tightly packed with narrow streets and cobbled ground making carts bump along when driving.  There are virtually no consistent sidewalks, making walking a wee bit of a challenge. 

Golf carts and small cars rumble along, cautiously avoiding pedestrians to the best of their abilities but veering rather close on occassions.  However, this mild concern didn’t daunt us, and we continued our hike until we reached our hotel.  I borrowed some WIFI from a restaurant across the street and we checked into Mara Laguna by Vacasa.

Resort and Hotel

Thus far on this trip, we had been enormously lucky to continually upgrade our lodgings.  Each subsequent property had been a drastic, somewhat surprising improvement on the previous and this final stop didn’t break the trend. 

Our hotel had a huge living area, fully appliance kitchen and two bedrooms and two bathrooms.  The balcony out back was a gorgeous view of a bay, ringed by green hedges and operating as a de facto playground for local lizards.  Everything was a grey and teal blend and an oddly religious stuffed plush-parrot roosted above our hallway, certainly passing along it’s own odd brand of good luck. 

We were extremely gruntled. 

After stowing our limited gear and basking in the strongest AC I’ve felt to date, we wandered back out in search of dinner.  Our search barely took us a hundred feet down the road before we stopped at The Dog House Sports Lounge where we played cornhole and Mel ate ceviche served in a cut-in-half conch shell. 

Walking down the road later on that night brought us to a huge, scuttling crab panickily brushing up against a curb to avoid us.  We bought a few drinks home with us, but energy quickly depleted and we didn’t even make it to our nightly movie before agreeing to snooze. 

Belize has been nothing but fun.  But nothing but fun also means minimal sleep.

Zooming

The following morning, we had a bright red golf cart delivered to our front door.  Tim managed to find some freshly-fallen bananas and brought them over for show-tell-and-munch. The sun winked off our backyard bay as we dressed for a day at the beach, driving all the way to Secret Beach on the far side of the island. 

We stopped for breakfast at Tres Cocos Waffles and Smokehouse with an additional break at Marbucks Coffee House San Pedro Belize before getting back on the road.  Mel drove while the rest of us appreciated that she somehow resisted the age old maxim: Speed bumps are just one letter away from speed jumps. 

To be frank, Tim and I just don’t have that level of self control. 

We drove north through Caribeville which literally has the sign “Population: Happy” before getting out into the Ambergris Wetlands.  These huge patches of flat, still water boast a fair number of lizards on the roads and white egrets in the distance.  We thundered along the gravel road in our heavy-duty golf cart until we eventually arrived at our destination. 

Secret Beach

And that, sadly, is the only directions I’m willing to divulge.  Our final location belongs to us and us alone.  It’s a quiet and lovely place and I’d like it to remain so for a bit longer, if at all possible.

However, I can describe what we did there. 

The water was an unearthly teal-blue that stayed window-like all the way to the bottom of the shallow sea.  The white reef breakers continued to crash in the far distance, but where we swam, waded or walked, the tides didn’t touch us. 

There were swings in the shade and course white sands with bits of shells mixed in.  Small patches of underwater sea grass waved at us as we kicked water around and each step on the sea floor summoned a cloud of murky dust, which settled a mere moment later. 

Needle-fish darted about brazenly, green lines glinting on their narrow bodies.  Striped fish, extremely comfortable with humans gathered around our legs and nibbled at us infrequently.  There were benches with thatch umbrellas submerged in the still water, allowing us to sit in the shade and enjoy drinks brought to us. 

In the distant part of our bay, half-drowned fences poked free from the water.  I can only assume they once corralled sea cows.  We swam far, emulated mermaids, drank too much, made fun of people doing hours of Tik-Tok dances, crawled on the seafloor, explored abandoned buildings, marched along hot sands, got burned to a sinful degree, tossed a GoPro back and forth, tried aerial acrobatics, befriended fish as the sharks in Finding Nemo had instructed, completely forgot about lunch and ran our hands along underwater plants, slick and soft.  Clouds built in the distance so slowly that the same pillar of billowing white stayed to our north the entire day. 

Tipsy Coconuts

On the drive back, we stopped at a stall called Coco Loco Boys run by a man named Steve who puts off the most wholesome vibe I’ve ever felt.  He serves enormous fresh coconuts by chopping off the top, asking a customer to sip down the liquid before filling the rest with ice. 

His real surprise is his Coco Loco Special, which involves a bit less coconut water and a bit more of five kinds of rum mixed in.  We slurped the down eagerly, sharing the rum and rumbling back towards the city.

It was a very good day.  We returned to our hotel once more to shower and change, sloughing off salt.  Afterwards, we spent some time in San Pedro on a minor shopping spree, looking for gifts to bring back to the US. 

Though we didn’t buy it, I found a malachite and obsidian sacrificial jaguar knife that might be handy for bringing curses back to the US.  We ended our collective night at the Hungry Grouper where days of events, activities and early mornings finally caught up to Mel and she began to snooze with her eyes open. 

Tim and I dropped her back off at the hotel, ran a couple more errands, completed my long-awaited Ice Cream Bet and finally called it a night.  So ended our last night in Belize.

A Slow Rally

The following morning I woke up before the crowd to run a few errands.  I rehydrated while watching the sun rise, showered for the fifth time in just a couple of days, grabbed an gift for Steve (since we couldn’t bring it with us) and went to go fill up the golf cart.  I should mention that golf carts in San Pedro run on gasoline and gasoline in Belize is always pricey.  Be sure to check that a tank is full before accepting a cart.  The tank is under the seat on most models. 

Tank full, I drove back just in time for everyone else to awaken.  We gathered up our gear one last time and marched out into a rapidly rising heat, getting breakfast at Estel’s Dine by the Sea.  A kid goofed around in a lobster trap while we waited our food and light glimmered intensely while we slurped down our last set of tropical smoothies in the hopes of beating the heat. 

And then the trip was done.  A few moments later, we were back on our ferry, rumbling back to the airport, where we split up breifly at customs only to meet again inside at the gates.  Tim and Mel are due in the north, flying back into the United States.  I, meanwhile, am winging south on another trip.  This time tomorrow, I’ll be in Guayaquil, Ecuador, testing my mettle on another series of poorly considered events. 

Final Thoughts on Belize

I have traveled and done much in my life.  In fact, travel is the primary occupation of my lifestyle.  But for all that, my actual trips done for recreation vacation are rare.  I tend to travel for work, or to study, or to reconnect with friends in the homes or even just find a place that’s cheaper to live.  Belize was a wonderful exception to that, where I wandered only for fun. 

I’m looking forward to the next one.  Of course, I’ll need to wait for my skin to revert to it’s normal hue.  Tim and Mel both have the power of tanning.  I simply make a partial morph into a cooked lobster and whine about it for a day. 

But once I’m recovered, likely in two days, it’ll be back to business as usual.  Miles disappearing underfoot and skies alternating overhead.

Until the next then,

Best regards and excellent trails,

Old Sean

Written August 15th 2021

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