Visiting Hanoi: Strictly Business

“Most of life feels like a dream. I can only believe it after recording it and rereading it.” -Old Sean

An Assignment South

Following my time in China working as a teacher and franchise assessor, I’ve been given a new assignment. This particular job involves visiting Hanoi, Vietnam. I’ll be heading to coordinate with a branch manager on the creation and launch of English supplementary learning materials.

Since this assignment backs up to the Chinese Spring Festival, I’m getting an extended vacation right after the job is done. I’ll be completing my work in Vietnam before going on a tour of Southeast Asia.

Into Hanoi

Even though I’m technically here on business, it’s hard not to enjoy visiting Hanoi. 

The streets are an absolute mess of scooters narrowly avoiding pedestrians with uncanny accuracy.  They putter with zest and zeal through the subtropical city. 

Once you get past the assault of traffic, Hanoi is the land of French-influenced balconies, easy (slightly cobbled) sidewalks, enormous trees casting shade into narrow roads, and the occasional chickens darting out from shrubberies and storefronts.

The result is a walkable city with a lot of traffic danger. I spent the majority of my time weaving across streets with brave crowds of pedestrians. Cars are comparatively scarce to scooters, especially on the downtown roads.

My actual job turned out to be fairly simple. Most of the legwork was stuff I was able to finish in China. So I was given much more free time throughout the city than expected. I made a special point of eating at least six meals of street food daily. My favorite places included The Note Coffee Shop and Bún Bò Nam Bộ’s.

Favored Eateries

The Note Coffee is a tiny coffee house next to Hoan Kiem Lake, a famously central lake with a temple island in the center. Note Coffee is unique for it’s décor: thousands of sticky notes cover every imaginable surface, all etched out by visiting guests. There are neon-colored notes spouting off jargon, names, messages and jokes dozens of languages.

Bún Bò Nam Bộ’s is also notable. The restaurant has a local cult following for it’s specialty dish: The Stirred Beef Noddle Bowl. This dry noodle bowl is amazing. I ate at least one a day. The menu is otherwise pretty limited. Bún Bò Nam Bộ’s really only makes one thing, but by God, do they make it well.

Taxi Scams

For all I enjoyed this trip, visiting Hanoi means dealing with SE Asia’s taxi scam problem. I often needed to take taxis to and from the local office. On two separate occassions, I was hit by taxi scams.

Both these taxis used something called a “featherwheel scam.” This means the taxi has a button on the back of the steering wheel. Pressing the button causes the meter to jump drastically.

Luckily, these scam artists aren’t terribly subtle. On both occassions, despite agreeing to a price beforehand, the taxi meter had rocketed over 500,000 Dong ($20 USD) by the time we passed one block. Both times, I leaned forward to see the button on the back of the wheel. On both occassions, the drivers slapped my hands away when I pointed to the proof-of-scam. And naturally, both threw a fit when I cut the ride short, hopping out of the vehicle and walking away without paying.

I’m deeply leery of taxi drivers. Travelers should always exercise caution around them. There aren’t any other groups of people on Earth who attempt scams more frequently.

For more information on avoiding Taxi Scams, click here.

Sample Cups

On another occasion while visiting Hanoi, I stopped outside an interesting restaurant. There were two lovely girls holding trays of food samples in clear, plastic cups.

“Fruit Juice?” I asked, plucking one from the tray. It looked rich and delicious.

“Fruit Juice,” they confirmed, eyes widening in concern as I tossed my sample back.

Tears immediately sprung to my eyes as I charred my tongue and scalded a goodly portion of my throat.

“Fruit juice?” I managed to rasp, slightly accusingly.

“Shrimp soup,” the ladies repeated, slightly mortified. “Hot shrimp soup.”

Oops.

Other Hanoi Features

During my off hours, I continued to wander out and visit some of the more popular places in the city. 

Trấn Quốc Pagoda, Hanoi’s oldest Buddhist temple, spears up from West Lake while supplying amazing sunset photos.  I was able to visit right as the sun began painting the clouds above a half-dozen hues.

Additionally, I got to visit a major Confucius temple, aptly called the Temple of Literature. The temple grounds are stunningly picturesque with tablets perched on stone turtles. All around, white-garbed graduates of academia pose in the temple plazas for graduation photos.  

Also notable is the Hỏa Lò Prison Museum. The prison is an important historical centerpiece, originally used by French colonials to contain political prisoners. Later on, United States POWs were locked here, earning the structure the nickname “Hanoi Hilton.”

Hỏa Lò Prison was a prison in Hanoi originally used by the French colonists in Indochina for political prisoners, and later by North Vietnam for U.S. prisoners of war during the Vietnam War. During this later period, it was known to American POWs as the “Hanoi Hilton.”

Later, I walked by The Taoist Temple Quán Thánh, where martial artists made me feel athletically incompetent. (I am rather chubby and incompetent compared to Taoist martial artists, but let’s not dwell),

I also returned to Hoàn Kiếm Lake several times. It’s a surprisingly central part of Hanoi’s culture. It has many surrounding museums, public areas and temples, and Hanoi’s deeply impressive Water Puppet Show. (Puppets dance over fountains and pools while moving on balanced wires, occasionally spitting fire into the air.)

A Note on Plaques

After looking at all these museums and historical landmarks, I’d like to take a moment and appreciate a generally Asian phenomena.  Reading a historical plaque in the United States is a fairly tame, objective affair.  You might hear the word “Valiant” once in a while, but it doesn’t go much further than that.  A Civil War plaque will say “Here is where soldiers fought bravely, defended against an enemy charge of 3,000 men, with only 2,000 men and three artillery pieces.“

But glancing at a translation in a lot of Asian countries gives a pretty clear bias, since most enemies are demonized with a lot of spiffy adjectives. I saw invaders described as “cunning, devious, harsh, oppressive and wretched.”  The defending locals are given much more flattering terms, like “Tireless, free-hearted, noble, unyielding and honorable.”  Not much in the way of objectivity, but kudos to color commentary, East.

Night Parties

Since I had considerable free time, I also tried to visit a few bars. The Central Hostel was interesting. There are apparently free tattoos offered alongside laughing gas and entire buckets of assorted liquors. 

I didn’t head out much at night by myself. But my coworker Deena was with me during most of my bar visits. Though she had been dreadfully ill for the first three days of our visit, she improved rapidly at the end of our trip. She joined me for a lot of nights out, including an expat bar crawl.

The Serene Mountains

I also gained the wonderful opportunity to travel to Hoa Lư to see Tam Cốc (Three Caves). For this part of the trip, I needed to sign up with a tour group to easily access the countryside. We arrived in an incredible land where endless aqua farms grew fresh shoots of green rice. All around, improbably steep mountains blanketed in greenery interspaced the waterways. Far above, I spotted speckles of pale mountain goats bearing down on us from stony peaks.

When we initially arrived to Hoa Lư, our guide gave us an hour to independently explore. I took a bike and swiftly peddled out into the countryside alone. I weaved along empty roads until reaching a hidden temple lodged on the side of a mountain. From here, I bounded up steps into a small cave overlooking more lakes.

Unheard Again

It turns out I may have misheard my guide.

I got back an hour and two minutes after the group had been given the chance to “free wander.” When I returned, I saw the rest of my group getting loaded up onto flat-bottomed boats.  The tour guide saw me and rushed over, slipping slightly on some mud in his haste.

“Where were you?” he leveled at me.

“Thataway,” I replied, pointing down the road I had just returned from.  I figured the word wasn’t terribly familiar to a second language speaker, so I added, “Biking.”

He looked perplexed.  I think he expected me to say I had fallen and broken my leg, and only spit, twin and a helpful magical animal got me back to the meeting point alive.  “Then why are you so late?”

I took my turn at being purplexed.  “Late?” I asked.  “Only by… three minutes now.  An hour to explore the town, right?”

The guide shook his head and walked away in a sort of accepting disgust.  A girl who spoke English on the tour leaned over to me and explained: “Half hour, buddy.”

Welp.

On the Boats

Once I had been forgiven (or at least overlooked) I had a grand time on our little river cruise. The scenery was gorgeous. Locals worked in the wet farms. Mountains continued to rise in all direction. Bright blue birds caused stalks to dip and bend. And thrice, we entered low, dark river-caves, ducking our heads as we drifted.

Hoa Lư and Tam Cốc are incredibly scenic, especially in the glowing sun that afternoon. I was very happy with my short tour.

Urban Returns

I returned to Hanoi that evening to drink some soup and enjoy a bit more time walking around the lakes.  

My last day visiting Hanoi included a company meeting followed by a walk around the city. I then took a sorely needed nap (which managed to keep me up the entire subsequent night) before exploring a couple more places in town. Finally, I spoke with an excellent young man wishing to practice his English and a charming Londoner named Charmi. Instead of letting me order yet another massive meal for second dinner, she invited me on a short walk, boldly steering me away from further overconsumption and bankruptcy.

I really like street food. Visiting Hanoi was a good fit for me.

However, my week is over.  It’s time to head to Laos for a few days to make more poor life choices.  My flight leaves in a few hours and… I should probably pack better.

I’ve got Anamanaguchi in my headphones and I’m checking all the hotel outlets for forgotten chargers. Soon I’ll try (and fail) to sleep.

Until Laos,

Best regards and excellent trails,

Old Sean

Witten February 9th, 2018

Planning on visiting Hanoi? Read the full recommendation list from Leftfade Trails by clicking here

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