“Proper gluttony takes preparation and appreciation. Thoughtless overindulgence misses the mark.” – Old Sean
Rail Logistics
After a long period of rest in Fairfax Virginia, I’m off again to explore other corners of the world. Specifically, I flew to Chicago in the hopes of seeing my friends Hank and Em in Mattoon, Illinois.
Upon landing in Chicago, I needed to make my way toward Union Station, where I could eventually catch a train heading to Mattoon.
However, logistics throughout the journey proved challenging.
The initial rail line leaving O’Hare Airport wasn’t direct. There were maintenance issues which forced me to hop off frequently, taking adjacent buses and extra rails with a hoard of other displaced passangers. Each time, I bundled by jacket up and wrapped extra layers around my head as flurries of snow continuously fell.
Once I finally made it to the outbound station, I hit another hiccup: There were no seats available for the next several days. Spring Break had filled up virtually every rail line. The bus system was likewise booked up, with the only tickets ranging well over $150 USD.
It was only through redirecting several times that I found a train going even partially the right direction. There was a seat available thanks to a cancelation to Bloomington. I eagerly hopped on the train and rolled south, asking my friend Hank to meet me in the slightly-out-of-the-way pickup point.
Countryside Ride
Hank, champion that he is, picked me up and carted me back to his home in Mattoon where I rapidly collapsed into a state of relaxation alongside his family and dogs.
We spent a few hours catching up and some additional time playing the weird assortment of video games Hank and Em tend to collect
The first and most outlandish, of course, is Goat Simulator. Trotting around as a destructive, often super-powered goat through a cartoonish sprawl makes for a decent if confusing pasttime. Afterwards, we logged in a considerable number of hours on the Hogwarts Legacy game.
An Anticipation of Feasting
When I visit Hank and Em, we have a tradition of relaxing and enjoying utterly massive feasts. Hank is a professional chef and a master butcher, so eating at his home is borderline divine every time.
Per our usual tradition, we try to theme the feast alongside whatever we’re doing or watching. The first day is usually spent gathering supplies, doing prep-work and locking in recipes. The second is a full eating extravaganza, involving endless meals and never a second of hunger.
This year, we opted to do a Lord of the Rings Extended Edition Marathon. While the Tolkien’s legendary epic was on-screen, we feasted the entire time on meals inspired by the franchise.
Tally the Feast
One of my ongoing critiques regarding George R. R. Martin’s Game of Thrones series is the considerable amount of time he spends describing food. But I’m about to emulate him, so perhaps I should tone down my complaints going forward.
Our movie marathon would last twelve hours, so we would begin at 8 AM, and with breaks and meals, likely finish the entire epic by 10 PM or so, gorged and groggy. The trick is to break down meals into much smaller snacks to avoid growing lethargic and unable to eat the next course.
After a considerable amount of time browsing online, this is the food list we ultimately decided upon:
- Pre Movie Dish:
- Ent-Draughts: This is mint-tea steeped in cold water chilled with ice and sipped from a stone or wooden bowl.
- Bifur the Dwarf, Companion to Thorin: Raspberry Jam on small wafer pastries to whet the appetite.
- Breakfast Dish: 8:00 AM
- Beorn’s Honey Nut Cake
- Bilbo’s Marmalade
- Second Breakfast: 9:00 AM
- Hobbit sausages and bacon
- Bree-Land chilled apple slices
- Elvenses Meal: 11:00 AM
- Elven Lembas Bread
- Merry’s Mulled Cider
- Luncheon 1:00 PM
- Po-Tay-To Onion Soup
- An Uruk-hai Meat Leg (Turkey)
- Bilbo’s Afternoon Tea: 3:00 PM
- Bilbo’s Tea Cake
- Dinner at the Inn 5:00 PM
- Balin’s Spiced Beef
- A proper pint from the Prancing Pony
- Supper: 7:00 PM
- Mrs. Maggot’s Cottage Pie
- Nightcap: Served after the films
- Dwarven Mead/Beer
Needless to say, the actual recipe list is much longer, but the feast was grand.
A Recovering Stomach
The problem with excessive feasting is usually the extreme lethargy the following day. None of us felt much like doing anything.
While Hank and Em occasionally went to work, we spent most of our time catching up, visiting a couple local restaurants to avoid cooking food and sharing Youtube recommendations back and forth.
A fair amount of our time was spent introducing me to a comedy series called What We Do in the Shadows which follows vampire roommates attempting to live in a mansion while remaining wildly out of touch with larger society.
Sadly, I only had a few days in town. Before long, I was due to return to Dallas, where I’d be required to undergo a lot of paperwork to earn a Visa to work abroad.
Hank drove me to the train station in the wee hours of the morning and I hopped aboard, chugging back north.
Soon I’ll be visiting my usual home base back in Dallas. But until then,
Best regard and excellent trails,
Old Sean
Written March 24th 2023
Read more about visiting Mattoon and seeing the world by visiting Leftfade Trails Destination Info.
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