Visiting Miami: Paintbound Blur

“I suspect that I would’ve made a good tour guide if I wasn’t so wildly dependent on air conditioning.” – Old Sean

Sleep Delayed

I’ve successfully rotated back into the United States, but the journey was fairly stop-and-go for a while. My flight with Frontier proved to be trickier than I expected with a long delay causing me to arrive in Florida in the morning, rather than the previous night.

Normally this wouldn’t be a problem. But I was supposed to be flying to Orlando to meet my friend Ahmed who was in the United States taking a Harvard Business Certification course. When the flight finally took off, we were well past 1 AM.

The Orlando Order

Once I finally arrived in Orlando’s airport, I quickly sought out Ahmed who was snoozing fitfully on a sofa in the food court area. We caught up for a time, canceling our hotel reservation for the evening. Speaking realistically, we would’ve arrived at 5 AM, which would’ve only resulted in 3 hours of sleep or so. We opted to save the money and caught an Uber to heading to our off-airport car rental place.

The lady at the car rental place was supremely friendly and soon Ahmed and I were steering into the distance, driving east in the darkened hours of pre-dawn. As we drove, the sky gradually came to life with hues of orange and pink, tracing the outer, glowing edges of towering clouds,

We made a few stops along the route, including a small swamp area and an IHOP. But realistically, most of the tourist attractions along the route were closed. With traffic practically non-existent, we made excellent time driving south.

Eventually, the sun rose to the point where we could take the occasional tourist attraction break. Our first stop brought us to the Blowing Rocks. We crossed a drawbridge to reach Jupiter Island, slowly rolling past thickets of greenery and multi-million dollar houses.

Ahmed and I got out of the car and slowly walked through the winding trails of bracing trees leading to the shore. There, we met a Blowing Rock Preserve ranger named Stuart who was fantastically friendly and informative.

The Blowing Rocks are a series of multi-mineral layers embedded in a natural beach sand layer. The rocks are made from a combination of cemented sands and small seashells called “coquina.” The exposed coquina rock located here are a relatively large part of the Anastasia Formation. The rocks erode at an irregular rate, which causes holes and tunnels to form in the wall. Naturally, when the tide presses in, many of these holes spew water upwards. The arcs are created by tidal pressures.

Sadly, Abdullah and I arrived at mid-tide. But the rocks were still worthy of a visit. They looked like miniature plateaus riddled with tunnels and faults. Flies, snails, seaweed nooks and crabs tended the odd structures as waves reached closer.

Additionally, during our walk, we saw dozens of wooden stakes with pink ribbons marking out sea turtle nesting sites. Drivers on ATVs circulated through the beach ensuring the nesting sites were safe. I hadn’t realized that Blowing Rock was such prime real estate for nesting turtles.

Soon, Ahmed and I hosed our feet off, watched a few lizards and marched back to the car. We piled inside, driving south. We only paused to glance at the eye-catching, rustic red Jupiter Inlet Lighthouse & Museum.

Wynwood Walls

By this point, sleep deprivation was taking a heavy toll on Ahmed and I. The struggle to reach our hotel was mounting. Yet, our hotel still had several hours before booking. So I suggested that a tour of the Wynwood Walls would keep us awake for the next several hours.

The Wynwood Walls is an art and mural district in Miami. There are many interesting and wild artworks featuring huge, colorful street murals by artists from around the globe. Native American faces gaze out from bricks, demented clowns smile, African individuals hold out hands with bird fluttering forth, puppies frolic, old-school painted cars rest on cinderblock surfaces, and abstract creatures lie cluttered in the shade.

Ahmed and I wandered through the urban center, eventually arriving at a taco joint called Bartaco. The surprisingly nice restaurant was a perfect chance for a breather, especially considering the muggy heat dragging down Ahmed’s and my energies.

Miami Beach Evening

Finally, our last hours of alert wakefulness spent, Ahmed and I wandered to the hotel on Miami Beach. We checked into the Pestana Hotel Group, which proved to be a very nice corner of the island.

Miami Beach is basically an enduring line of hotels, beachfront properties, upscale eateries, parks, museums and golf courses. The entire island is densely saturated with activities, so there’s actually no compelling reason for people to leave the island once arriving. Guests often spend days lounging on the beaches, visiting clubs, taking boats into the sea and frequenting dining establishments.

The two general struggles that come from visiting Miami Beach are fairly easy to mitigate. Firstly, there isn’t much affordable parking. Ahmed and I found a nearby parking garage called the Miami Beach Parking Garage found north of Collins Park which had an overnight parking price cap of $20 USD per day. This was a vast improvement over the $45 USD our hotel was attempting to charge us.

Secondly, Miami Beach can be boisterous in some areas. While Ahmed and I were in town, the Argentina vs Colombia game was being shown on screens practically everywhere. People weren’t shy about showing their colors and calling out loudly during the game.

After Ahmed took a nap and I wrapped up some work, we walked down the beach and through Lummus Park to eventually dine at a surprisingly quiet French pastry shop called the Atelier Monnier South Beach, French Bakery, Café & Fine Wine Boutique. We had our dinner here, watched the pre-tournament conclusion festivities and worked our way back to the hotel.

The Coral Castle

The following morning, Ahmed and I awoke for a trip off of the island to spend some time in mainland Miami. We got breakfast at a posh little eatery called the Orange Blossom, picked up our hardy rental car and drove inland.

Our first choice in destination was an interesting little place called “The Coral Castle.” This is a popular local landmark showcasing an outdoor coral garden with hand-caved coral-stone features and amazingly tended flowers.

The structure was built by the enigmatic man known as Latvian Ed Leedskalnin. Upon being jilted by his longtime girlfriend the day before their wedding, Ed was a Latvian immigrant who settled in the United States, where he used his family business as a stonemason to begin his daunting construction project.

Despite being a self-taught engineer, only weighing around 100 pounds, standing at only five and a half feet tall, struggling with chronic illness and lacking modern construction equipment, Ed capably moved 30-ton stones of Oolitic Limestone (fossilized coral) into a homemade castle. The castle is somewhat small and can be explored in 20 minutes or so.

The castle’s actual meaning is somewhat illusive. The structure is essentially an open-air garden filled with esoteric symbols. There are pillars of stone showcasing crescent moons, Mars, Saturn and other planets. Stars rest in fountains. Outdoor chairs made of multi-ton stone blocks are perfectly balanced to serve as rocking chairs. Impressions on tables allow for rainwater to collect for hand washing stations.

The building process is fairly mysterious. Leedskalnin was a private person, and his methods were a closely guarded secret. For 28 years he didn’t allow anyone to watch him work. Often, he would quarry and carve the coral stones by night. A series of lookout posts along the castle walls provided additional cover from onlookers.

The symbolism of the structure merits consideration, since it doesn’t conform to any major belief systems. There are pentagrams, the six-point seal of Solomon, astrology themes, telescopic devices and celestially aligned pillars. All of these fall into varying theories, including concepts of the free masons and an ancient mysticism belief system founded through the allegorical study of construction techniques.

Regardless of the reason for its construction, the Coral Castle is a supremely interesting visit. ]

The tour guides of the castle, however, are painfully lackluster. Guests can’t simply walk in, they must sit through a rather rambling video in the Florida heat, waiting a half-hour for each tour to begin. The tour guides are droning, repeating facts from the video word for word. There’s no real asset to listening to the tour guides and it’s generally better to get inside the park and explore independently.

Overall, it was a nice experience. But the human factor was lacking.

Fruit Stand and Gator Bites

Once Ahmed and I drove away from the Coral Castle, we made our way to a personal favorite site of mine. The Robert is Here Fruit Stand remains one of my favorite local places in Florida. They have a rescue-animal petting zoo out back, numerous aged tractors rusting artistically in a seating area, a vast array of fruit stand options, unique blends of jams, jellies, marmalades, spreads, butters and other eatery options and excellent treats.

Ahmed and I had a fanstastic time browsing and talking to the perfectly friendly staff, a young lady who regaled us about the spiritual connection she had with the numeric three. We ended up getting sliced mangos which were beyond delicious before finally driving off.

Our next stop was just down the road, the famed Gator Grill. As expected, the grill serves a surprisingly hearty fare of gator meat, which I urged Ahmed to try. Since Ahmed is Islamic, I wasn’t sure if gator meat was an acceptable food to eat. But Ahmed assured me that “food of the water” (such as fish, crabs, etc.) was acceptable to eat under the tenants of Islam. Gators fall into the category, so he tried a small piece for his own curiosity.

The rest of our time was spent reading the humorous signs scattered around the outdoor eating area.

“Remember when I asked for your opinion? Neither do I.”

“If you see me talking to myself, just move along… We’re having a team meeting.”

“I would agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”

Key Points

After visiting the Gator Grill, Ahmed and I drove south. Our next destination was specifically on Ahmed’s bucket list, visiting the Florida Keys.

I convinced Ahmed that we would be better served just visiting Key Largo. Getting all the way to Key West by car is a daunting drive, a trip I simply wasn’t equipped for. So instead, we made our way to John Pennekamp Coral Reef State Park.

The state park is a wonderful little place to visit. The nearby aquarium has all sorts of tidbits and fun facts. There are displays on sea-grass recovery programs using water-standing birding posts to fertilize sea-grass areas that have been damaged by passing boat propellers. Invasive species, such as the lionfish, rest in blue-tinted fish tanks. Other local aquatic residents swim through much larger displays.

The best part of the visit was a short kayaking tour that Ahmed and I enjoyed. We both piled into a single kayak and paddled through mangrove tunnels and channels, eventually bracing against open sea.

Unfortunately, the waterproof, laminated map I was using was snatched by the wind. It floated brightly underwater, gradually getting pulled deeper into the sea. Ahmed and I paddled madly after it, trying to scoop it up from the sea floor with our paddles to no avail.

It took nearly fifteen minutes of maneuvering and plenty of failed attempts before we managed to rescue the map, which I planted firmly under our legs.

We returned to shore a little over an hour later to shower off. Apparently there’s a bloom of E.-Coli Bacteria drifting through the water and it was better to be clean than sorry.

The Gator Loop

With the range of activities during the day and the pressure from the previous day’s trip, Ahmed and I slowed our pace of exploration. I suggested that we visit one of my favorite places in Florida, the Loop Road Scenic Drive of the Big Cypress National Preserve.

This loop is sort of a free drive-through safari tour of the outer Everglades. Here, there are white cranes, great blue herons, fishing birds, marching lines of ants, blinking snails, numerous gators, an impressive range of plants and trees, scenic views of ponds, flowing swamps and curious turtles.

Overall, it’s a lovely place to drive around, and I was eager to help Ahmed spot his first Florida gator. We found plenty during our drive and the scenery was sublime. The only detracting factor was the mosquitos, which made hiking nigh impossible. We had to handle a terrible stretch of potholes at the last part of the trip. But overall, it was a nice drive.

Afterwards, Ahmed and I returned to our hotel. Ahmed showered and changed while I took the car to a gas station. After that, sunset started to claim colors in the sky.

Cuban Cuisine

For dinner, I wanted Ahmed to try some authentic Cuban food, a mainstay of Florida’s culture. We went to Little Havana, hunting down a proper restaurant.

Finding a restaurant was easy. But finding a place where the music wasn’t painfully loud was trickier. My hearing is a bit sensitive and I get ringing in my ears quite easily. So the default volume of America’s music industry is pretty overwhelming for me.

But eventually, Ahmed and I found the Ball & Chain Live Music Bar. We seated ourselves outback where the thrum of live performers was softened somewhat. There, we enjoyed shredded beef and Cuban-spaced chicken. It was a nice way to cap off the evening.

Afterwards, we took a short walk through the streets of Little Havana. By the time true night had fallen, we returned to our hotel and called it an early night.

The following day, Ahmed would need to be back in Orlando by noon for his flight. So we packed what we could and planned an early morning.

It’s back to road-tripping then.

Best regards and excellent trails,

Old Sean

Written July 17th 2024

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