“Here’s the secret to all holiday stress; it’s always far, far better than holiday loneliness.” – Old Sean
A Toe in Yuletide
Once again, the year is vanished, replaced with that ever odd bustle of frantic activity and spending that so often defines the gap between Christmas and New Year.
I’ve spent a lot of my adult life living abroad, so I’ve celebrated Christmas in a lot of strange places. Mexico, China, States, roads, fogs, snows and deserts. But even China, which is a fairly secular country, has some level of Christmas cheer. Admittedly, it’s more of the capital festival spending kind than the spiritual aspect, but the decorations are often put up with a certain amount of wry joy.
But Saudi Arabia, where I’m currently based, is an especially odd place to usher in western holidays. As a staunchly Islamic country with a very small foreign population primarily based in the country on limited visas, there is no Christmas to speak of. It’s quite pointedly ignored. Even places that are decorated for “winter” with snowflake lights and red-and-green Starbucks cups take special care to nudge the needle away from any Christmas acknowledgement.
As such, I celebrated Christmas in an odd way this year. I found myself going through Riyadh doing a roundabout series of celebrations. From December 24th to December 28th, after returning from a long road trip, my days were spent doggedly enjoying myself.
A Time of Souq
Currently, Riyadh is promoting its massive city-wide international festival event, otherwise known as Riyadh Seasons. Designed to showcase the country, entertain locals and draw in foreign investments, Riyadh Seasons is based throughout the city in various levels of splendor. Guests can enjoy a wide range of shows, displays, rides, cultural exports, shopping experiences and more. This naturally takes place during winter, to better allow the naturally pristine weather to comfort visitors.
As mentioned, Riyadh Seasons isn’t a single place or event. Some are just for the next few months and others are permanent features throughout the year. Aside from concerts and sports matches, there are a fair number of other sites worthy of mentioning.
Riyadh Boulevard is the city’s permanent shopping hub, opened year round, modeled after Times Square and Tokyo’s shopping district.
Al Awaleen Souq is a traditional marketplace with food and native performances.
Boulevard World is an enormous culture importation event where countries from across the planet are represented.
Wonder Garden is an outdoor amusement park with art, plant life and lights.
The Groves are an upscale walking and dining venue that opens periodically in the city.
There are several other sites as well which I have limited knowledge of. There’s Riyadh Zoon, Riyadh Food Trucks Park, Suwaidi Park, Ramla Terraza, Roshn Front, the Kingdom Arena and potentially a few others being released.
In a single, hectic, holiday week, I attempted to visit a chunk of them.
Arabian Accented
The first place I visited relating to Riyadh Seasons was Souq Al Awaleen.
This imitate exploration event, which was free to enter, was my visit from a couple of weeks ago, prior to my Hail Trip. I was excited to explore an Arabian traditional market, so I attended despite not having anyone to join me.
Al Awaleen is a Souq, which is the Arabic word for “market”. Though I arrived during daylight hours, most events are scheduled for later in the evening.
When I arrived, I stood out starkly. There were virtually no other foreigners. There were no solo visitors, as this souq seemed to angle towards families.
Despite this I had an enjoyable, if tame, time. There were perched exotic birds for guests to pose alongside. Numerous miniature stalls were set up, selling all kinds of traditional snacks, including camel milk and chocolate dipped candied dates. Nearby, there were plenty of mini stores selling rugs, winter clothes, hats, oud, treats and traditional coffee pitchers. Bright Sadu-styled rugs and patterned doors decorated walls and storefronts.
Despite the shopping, the culture shows were the main appeal. There were numerous traditional shows. Arabic men played drums while chanting, recited poetry and generally gave some unique performances. All the while, kids squealed and scurried around underfoot, clambering throughout the nearby park.
It was a nice, if rather peaceful, event.
Minutely Man
For the next few days, I tried to tick off the last few things on my Riyadh Bucket List. While not terribly interactive, they are worth mentioning as part of life’s experience.
I spent some time looking for new sunglasses at the market areas Alowais Market and Taibah Market. They’re just typical, modern Arabian outdoor shopping areas with mazes of streets selling everything from laundry machines to bedspreads to clothes to potted plants.
At a later time, I visited Digital City, a group of supremely bright, square buildings that seer the night horizon regularly. The Digital City isn’t actually that interesting, with just a few shops, cafes and restaurants. Traffic going in and out makes visiting a bit of a pain. But it’s worth mentioning.
During another event with a friend named Joe, I visited Nadj Village, a massive restaurant built in a Saudi Arabian traditional architecture style. They serve some splendid meals with lots of traditional accents.
Also in the theme of food, I discovered my favorite restaurant in the city. Aleppo in the As Sulimaniyah neighborhood serves a wide variety of excellent meats, snacks, traditional foods, fortifying breads and refreshing drinks.
At other dates, I tried to see several famous mosques, some mall artworks and some tiny, dusty parks. I also spent my time cuddling an adopted black cat whom I’ve taken in for the past few months.
Due to personality clarity and obvious alliterations, his name is Mr. Mischief. You, reader, would like him. I consider it somewhat physically impossible not to.
That about sums up my time before my road trip Hail. I returned to the city after my road trip with Ahmed, arriving in town just in time for my coworkers to get excited about Christmas in a thoroughly Islamic nation.
Almost Eve
On December 24th, my coworkers planned on visiting Boulevard World as our de facto pre-Christmas celebration. We arrived after dark had fallen, arriving in bunches, ready to wander.
Boulevard World defies easy description. It’s a massively ambitious tourism and entertainment project showcasing stylized villages-districts from throughout the world. The central feature is a wide, blue tinted lake and a network of spotlights intersecting overhead. Boats putter across the lake, some taking the shape of amphibious cars or Italian gondolas. The entire eater scene is out of a fevered mad-dream with breaching whales, placid long necked dinosaurs, miniature fountains and a rotating giant orb of digital life morphing between a Star Wars Death Star, hatching dinosaur egg, intricate timepiece and blazingly bright ad ball.
I had arrived with three coworkers to Boulevard World, about half of whom were American. As such, we decided to explore the park clockwise since this would take us through the United States section soonest.
However, Boulevard World is a slow, slow walk. There are new things to see and admire every few steps. By advantage of sheer saturation, travel through the park involves dozens of detours every few minutes. Furthermore, the creators of the park were clever to separate out regional cultures away from one another. For example, Japan and China are on opposite sides of the park, as are Italy and Spain. While some regions are side by side, keeping geographically similar cultures apart ensured that individual cultures could distinctly show off their vibe, making transitions both obvious and invigorating.
World Tour In An Evening
The first section we visited is still under a bit of development, but the massive fake cliffs made it an easy nav landmark for the rest of the evening. Amazon world is full of aquariums, macaw cages and decorative broken bridges high overhead.
But once we walked through the semi-closed entrance section, my group reached Paris. Naturally, the Eiffel Tower was on prominent display, as were little bistros, a hedge mage and recreated Arch
Just beyond this was the British section which contained Big Ben, a working Ferris Wheel mimicking the Eye of London and various sculptures showcasing old Commonwealth territories. Additional spotlight stages and commanding views over the lake rested here.
Following this point, we arrived in the United States section.
Now, one of the unique things about the US is seeing how other cultures romanticize it or understand it in terms of reputation. It usually comes as a cross between a overt form of misrepresented US patriotism, odd pop culture icons half-forgotten by the actual American populace and distinct landmarks. I knew this one would be interesting as many Saudi people have studied in the states over the past couple of decades.
The US representation didn’t disappoint. There were muscle cars, retro gas stations, roadside diner recreations, Texas mechanical bulls, classic New York yellow taxis, quintessential doughnut shops and extremely authentic green highway signs.
On the more humorous end of the spectrum were burger shops, pizza places and a tiny model of the Golden Gate Bridge with King Kong on it. Nevermind that Kong’s iconic performance involves New York and a biplane. Here, the apex ape flashed his statue fangs menacingly.
Naturally, there are certain ideologies of America that probably couldn’t be added. Notably absent were features like the Statue of Liberty, which has American political connotations in ways that other props don’t.
Still, overall, it was an impressive setup and it did a good job of tapping into American culture stereotypes. But it was too far removed from my homeland to make me feel homesick. Well done overall, though.
Life and Spice
From the US section, my group wandered into the entirely energetic Japanese portion, where giant mecha robots and towering buildings dominate the street. There are shops selling Japanese candy, masks and other mainstays of the exported Japanese culture. Anime characters, of course, feature with prominence.
Nearby, the Japanese District was also accented by the Thai district. While more humble in terms of wares, the Thai district had a stage which showcased Thai dancers, muay thai fighters, flower petal performances, traditional mask stories, elaborate musical shows and more.
Watching the Thai show was amazing and made me miss Thailand dearly. The performing group was astoundingly talented, drawing every eye in the district. However, performing for Saudi Arabians is…well, a wee bit funny.
Saudi Arabians, as a culture, don’t have a lot of experience as an audience. They are generally quite interested and attentive when it comes to performances, but they’re not prone to outbursts of cheering or clapping. While the Thai performers whooed, cheered and attempted to get the Saudi audience to clap along with their tempos, the crowd remained stoic. IT was only foreigners like myself who whooped and clapped enthusiastically. There were a fair number of Saudi Arabian children who also laughed and bounced during the show, but we were certainly the minority.
I suspect that this is a tough country to perform in, in terms of audience energy.
Regardless, my group enjoyed the show a lot. We walked down to the Asian eatery boardwalk, where we bought a holiday feast of ramen and coconut slushies while overlooking the lake.
Spice of Life
Following dinner, my group began wandering the next trio of districts. These would turn out to be some of the most artfully decorated in the entire festival, startling contrasts between them.
Firstly was the Spanish district. Filled with live flamenco dancers and decorated with statues of storybook turtles and matadors, the bright colors and endless rows of lakeside flowers made this a special corner of the imported world.
The next space was dominated by a massive ziggurat, glowing red behind lines of tiny flags. The site symbolized Mexico with numerous Mexican food shops dominating the plaza. My favorite portion, aside from the live cacti which made me nostalgic for home, were the demented doll creatures walking around. They were advertising a nearby Mexican horror house, but their elongated body parts , glassy eyes and stitched skin was eye-catching.
Following this district, my group stumbled into India, or perhaps Bhārat. Those who follow the slow churn of world events may notice that the sub-continent has recently made moves to rename the nation in accordance with ancient texts, hence the new name of Bhārat.
An interesting feature of the modern world today comes from numerous postcolonial countries rebranding themselves to connect with prior cultures, dispensing with sometimes-imposed English, French, Spanish or Portuguese labels for cities or regions.
It’s an interesting feature of the postcolonial world. The moves are often met with considerable pushback and it’s hard to rebrand a country completely, especially one with such name recognition as India.
But then, Turkey has begun promoting itself as Türkiye. The Czech Republic often refers to itself as Czechia. The Netherlands has supplanted Holland. There was a political shift from Burma to Myanmar as well.
The practice generally takes a couple of decades to fully implement, but it’s interesting to watch in real time. Human perception is a surprisingly volatile force.
Regardless, the Indian/Bhārat district is amazingly well done. It contains elephant statues, blocky architecture, a thriving market, lots of Indian snacks, lovely patterned fabrics and domed white palaces.
From this point, my group took another pause, gazing over the lake. As I mentioned, the sheer tonnage of sights and artworks makes speedy walkthroughs of Boulevard World virtually impossible. We had to stop and breathe again, again and again. We rested under the giant, neon glove which dominated the horizon, listening to the imposingly loud festival music vibrating the air.
Let the Pictures Speak
The next district of Boulevard World was my personal favorite. Egypt was a huge swath of the festival with numerous statues, standing pharaohs, walls of hieroglyphic pillars, palm-frond pillars, miniature pyramids, tea-selling salesmen and much more. A small sphinx overlooked it all, people passing in front of her great paws.
With so many Saudi Arabians taking regular vacations to Cairo for the weekend, it was clear a lot of love was put into creating an authentic Egyptian experience.
Interestingly enough, the change in salesmanship was instantaneous. One of the things I love about Saudi Arabia is the laid-back nature of salesmen here. They’re not pushy, merely accommodating. They don’t heckle or pursue foreigners. They showcase their wares in a classy way, speak politely and don’t seem desperately invested if anyone makes a purchase or not.
But the Egyptian district is staffed by Egyptians. They called out, continuously pressed for attention, called me “buddy,” asked where I’m from, thrusted useless trinkets at me, forcibly tried to make eye contact and leaned endearingly on counters.
I hate pushy salesmen and Egyptians tend to have a prominent reputation for it. I enjoyed walking through the vast Egyptian market, but I had to ignore incessant sales techniques somewhat doggedly.
After Egypt, however, my little group got to enjoy a trio of interesting sites.
First was the Greek District, which served Crème Brûlée doughnut cones beneath white buildings with blue roofs in the style of Santorini. Mist machines blanketed the water as cable cars drifted overhead.
Following this was a strange offshoot district not affiliated with any country. Flanked by tanks, scarecrow archers, artillery pieces, a castle-top dragon and billboards for guns, this was “Combat World.” Combat World is basically an embedded Virtual Reality gallery for first person shooting games, along with paintball and airsoft.
Comically, that felt more American to me than the American district.
Passing this led my group to Morocco, a fantastic, sprawling district with patterned buildings, large fountains, a massive market and soft, delectable scents in the air. In front of the market entrance, a boisterous group of men hammered on drums and chanted out a soul-catching beat to a gathered crowd.
Inedible Blunder
Once we reached the edge of the Moroccan District, we were about to cross the bridge leading into the Italian District, a small, prominent island built in the style of Venice.
However, before we could cross, we managed to make our colossal blunder for the evening. We bought some Moroccan drinks which naturally contained an inexplicable spread of peanuts.
One of my coworkers is concerningly allergic to peanuts, though other nuts don’t seem to give him any problems. Throughout the entire night of eating Thai, Indian, Asian and Greek food, my group had carefully vetted restaurants to ensure there was no peanut contamination whatsoever.
But at this stall, we slipped up. While walking, my coworker took a sip and quickly stopped, recognizing the distinct, nutty flavor.
Groaning, we seated ourselves. Half of us sat and rested to ensure no peanut allergies flared up. The other half rushed back to check the stall for information. Indeed, the drink did, for inexplicable reasons, contain peanuts.
Without much choice, we decided to call it a night and get our coworker home. If anything flared up, we wanted him to be safe next to his medicine and bed.
Barrel Roll
Though we were ending things a little early, I was fine with the break. I was still utterly winded from my trip to Hail. And more than three-quarters of Boulevard World had already been experienced.
We sped through the final sections of the festival. Over the next half hour, we walked through the Italian District, the Syrian District, the Chinese District and the Amazonian District.
From there, it was a quick, sleepy ride home.
Unsurprisingly, we decided we weren’t quite done with celebrations. Before going to our respective dorms, we agreed to make additional Christmas plans for the following day.
Don’t You Dare Jingle, Bell
The following morning, I slogged through a groggy day at work. When my shift finally ended, I went home for a quick nap, expecting another late night.
There are only a few places in Riyadh I’ve completely bypassed by this point. For the most part, five months in the city has given me ample opportunities to enjoy all its hidden features.
It’s worth mentioning that as far as supercities are concerned, Riyadh is a bit dull. They’re just now building up outdoor venues, indoor art installations, performance centers, historical districts and more. The city, for all its massive growth and ambitious designs, is still in its developing phase.
One of the few places I’ve missed out on is called VIA Riyadh, a restaurant center and upscale dining area near the Diplomatic Quarter. The area was once so popular, it was impossible to enter the parking lot without a reservation.
However, the hype has worn off and anyone can waltz in. Even underdressed, unshaved Americans.
VIA Riyadh was a good initial choice. It’s quite beautiful and it technically has winter decorations up. Note that I said winter decorations, not Christmas decorations. Though the light patterns were unmistakable, the beautiful walking area had plausible deniability worked in.
For example, the Christmas ornament had been converted into Cinderella’s carriage. The antlered light features weren’t reindeer, but moose. The horse-pulled contraption over there was certainly a carriage, not a sled. And walls of butterfly sculptures are certainly not Christmas-oriented.
It was a fun little sidestep. My group enjoyed some free chocolate samples before walking into the Diplomatic Quarter of the city. There, we chowed down at a Mexican restaurant (Don Ruben’s Mexican Restaurant) before calling it a Christmas night.
Feliz Navidad. So ended my holiday season.
Champion Falsehood
But that last sentence made me a liar. Because instead of ending my holiday celebrations, I planned one last outing for the week, ensuring yet one more night of limited sleep.
My friend Jackie, whom I joined in Istanbul one month ago, agreed to join me on a tour of yet another Riyadh Season’s feature; The Wonder Garden.
The Wonder Garden is a new feature in Riyadh. It hasn’t appeared annually yet, making this a first-time run-through. It’s sponsored by the massive super-project of northern Riyadh, otherwise known as the New Murabba Operation.
That night, I met Jackie at her job before sharing an Uber to the Garden. It was a slightly slow drive due to traffic, but both Jackie and I had a ton to catch up on. She had drastically reformed her life and work in the past few weeks. And I had my own odd typhoon of adventures which had dominated my weeks.
The Resting Green
The Wonder Garden makes an enormously serene yet vibrant first impression. The first thing anyone sees upon entering is the peaceful expression of a massive woman, coated in greenery, sleeping on a mountain. A purple-LED lit waterfall tumbles freely from her palm. Nearby, there are supersized cat statues with drowsy, blinking animatronic eyes, surrounded by living flowers. In the center of the entire plaza space, white flamingos pick through shallow waters while performers in green dresses regale visitors with an accordion.
For the first few minutes, Jackie and I made it absolutely nowhere. We did a small loop, bumbling back and forth across the entrance plaza. There was so much to see and do, it took a while to get our bearings.
Just like Boulevard World, the Wonder Garden is heavily packed with amazing sights that take eyes a considerable amount of time to process. Despite the relatively small size of the venue, movement is slow and lots of breaks are needed to fully let the art and splendor sink in.
Bloom Said the World
The Wonder Garden is made of four distinct zones: Bloom, Butterfly, Tree Adventure and Flamingo Lake.
While Flamingo Lake makes up an impressive entryway, Jackie and I were drawn to Bloom. Dozens of fake trees with red and white leaves towered over endless small shops and artworks.
Bloom has many features that are intensely photo-worthy. Among these were moving holograms of macaws and other birds. Created by shining intense lasers on rapidly spinning fans, these neon creatures move naturally through fake trees.
Also within Bloom, beside children rides spewing bubbles, are strange glowing mushroom towers with flowers bursting from the sides. There are towers of flowers with lights snaking through their stems and patches of parks in unreal colors. Nearby, a DJ stands in front of a massive, serene screen of pink flower petals, selecting music for a seated crowd.
Within moments of arrival, Jackie proved herself to be the perfect person for company. She pointed out everything I nearly missed, had me slow down to appreciate all the details of the experience and happily directed me from game to game as we walked. No matter how late the night got, she was radiant in joy and enthusiasm.
Butterfly
We continued past bloom into the semi-melded Butterfly Zone. As the name implies, there’s a massive butterfly house here, along with wide flower patches, impressive butterfly-themed decorations and more neon-moving lasers projected onto fan blades.
The Butterfly Zone of the Wonder Garden also had the majority of rides. An iconic ferris wheel stood overhead and a tethered hot air balloon rested in a grassy field. There were haunted houses and immersive VR games designed after the Halo franchise, letting kids play as Fireteam Raven. Scattered about were claw machines, face painting studios and blue ferns.
Jackie and I were forced to pause to let things sink in, stopping for slices of pizza at one point and a hearty meal of baked potatoes with olives, pickled radish, jalapenos, crisps, butter and corn. As we ate, a roaming parade of skating women dressed in butterfly attire glided past.
Tree Adventure
Following our walkthrough of Butterfly, Jackie and I veered to the last unvisited section. We arrived at Tree Adventure, which was decorated with a wide range of artificial and living plants.
The entrance tree was an animatronic, talking oak with blinking eyes, wiggling eyebrows and a moving mouth. Speaking in a masculine voice, the tree told onlookers information about the park, and commented that they looked beautiful.
Further along, there were models of mutated venus-flytraps, glowing plants, more haunted houses and strange, glowing shrubs. There was also a sticker prize spinning wheel where I earned a wolf-sticker and Jackie got a hot-sauce sticker.
The main attraction of Tree Adventure, however, is a towering figure of art, melded of plant and person. The figure, with eyes that slowly open and close, depicts a green-skinned being with glowing veins snaking up a patterned neck. Above, hair grows into a bouquet of flowers and bulbs, all glowing with powerful light within.
Jackie and I took dozens of pictures with each step, but eventually we reached a duck-fishing game. Using a long net, we scooped up ducks for points until Jackie won a prize worthy of her joy. A plush, stuffed monkey with a tiny, curved tail. Bundled in her arms, we finished the full loop of the Wonder Garden with that monkey, still stopping for photos every few steps.
To ensure my utmost happiness for the rest of the night and several following days, Jackie named the monkey “Sean” after me.
Still makes me smile.
Sleep, My Sean
Before going home, Jackie and I took one more slow loop through the park, working our way to the ferris wheel. However, tickets to ride the wheel were ninety riyals, so we opted to skip that last event.
Instead, we turned our cast towards a far more worthy endeavor. Slushies.
There was a slushie shop near the entrance of the park, where Jackie got a Wild Cherry drink and I found a Funky Forest beverage. Though the employees seemed to be new (they struggled mightily at their jobs) we were eventually rewarded with drinks.
Jackie and I returned to the Flamingo Pool to watch a live performance, this time showcasing a saxophone.
Though I was profoundly pleased with our adventure, I felt myself growing groggy. It had been six continuous days of late nights, extending from my road trip to Hail to my coworkers’ Christmas events to a series of personal errands on behalf of my cat to the Wonder Garden. And yet another day of work was looming on the horizon.
Jackie and I decided to call it a night and summoned an Uber. We got home swiftly enough, each hopping off at our respective apartments.
With that, my holiday week in Riyadh is over. I can rest easy knowing I did virtually everything I wanted to do in that tiny time frame.
Yet, I’m not done. This very evening, I’m off to yet another adventure. I’ll be flying back to Jeddah with Ahmed to finish out 2023.
So until then,
Best regards and excellent trails,
Old Sean
Written Thursday, December 28th, 2023
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